A Pickup Line

I just started a wonderful new job. The atmosphere is laid-back, and the people alone make the place fantastic. The best of them all is my boss. She is 29, a month my elder, and very comely in appearance. At first I was merely attracted to her, but as time went on, I fell hard. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but she has such a sweet and gentle spirit. Problem is she’s not only my boss. She’s married. At weekly meetings, I didn’t want them to end. I’d lose focus during the conversation. I’d stare at her when she was talking. She is such a delightful and special person I couldn’t help it. I wished I could be …

A Perverse Confidante

Direct Answers – Column for the week of July 15, 2002 Dad passed away years ago and Mom lives alone. She is still young and healthy, yet she always plays the victim. I am in my 30s and divorced. Our relationship has always been based on a maternal dictatorship. Even as an adult daughter I cannot approach my mother because her idea of advice is an order. Since she makes life miserable, I withhold my personal life from her to the point of lying. I met a wonderful man who lives out of town, and we have been cultivating a terrifically close relationship. Mom met him once, but only to the point of saying hello. Because I find sneaking around …

A New Years Resolution To Stop Smoking – How To Keep To It Beyond Jan 2nd?

So, here you are again. Seeing out the old year, along with its broken promises and failed, good intentions. You arrive, fresh with newly found conviction, after the excesses of the Christmas period, at the New Year’s resolution, an annual triumph of hope over reality! Hope, that this time you will have the single mindedness to succeed, where last time you failed. I’m not suggesting for a moment that you do not want to succeed, I’m sure that your desire to stop smoking is genuine, but here’s the reality, it’s a hope, a dream and what’s the point in having dreams if you’re not going to make them happen? You may dream of winning the lottery and yes, you could …

A New Strategy

Direct Answers – Column for the week of November 3, 2003 My mother-in-law drives me crazy! She is an antisocial, critical, know-it-all who can’t find anything decent to say about anyone but herself. Every time she comes to visit it puts such a damper on my relationship with my wife, it takes us days to recover. We have never really gotten along, but lately it has gotten much worse. She left yesterday after a week’s visit, and my wife and I didn’t talk the rest of the day. My mother-in-law barely gets along with her own sisters who live next door to her, and she is estranged from her own mother. She has only two friends in the whole world …

A New Perspective on Self Esteem

Fortunes have been made by so-called self help gurus on the topic of self esteem. Hundreds of books have been written and countless others touch on the subject in way or another. I have to admit, I haven’t read any of them. Every thing I’ve ever learned about self esteem was through my own process of discovery and examination, and it started when I was very young. When I was a child, my mother read to me every night. My favorite was always Dr. Seuss; it didn’t occur to me until decades later what made him so special. Theodore Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss) reveled in the abstract. Possessing a curious, active imagination, I was instinctively drawn to Geisel’s wild characters …

A New Journey Begins: Anxious? Overwhelmed? Stressed? Don’t Give Up!

September: the month of change. Kids start a new grade or embark on their university or college careers while new graduates seek their first full-time job and adults start a new job or project. Emotions run high during this time of year and if you find yourself overwhelmed, good. You’re normal! It sure must feel lonely to think that you’re embarking on a brand new chapter of your life all by yourself. The truth is, you’re not, and that’s exactly why you’re normal. Every year around this time you’ll find families shuffling about collecting a new wardrobe or the latest gadgets for a fresh start to a new school year or career. Even the roads feel your pain as your …

A New Conversation About Dreams: Who’s Directing Your Life?

While aspects of you encourage, “Go for your dreams,” simultaneously other parts threaten, “Don’t you dare.” A cast of characters lives inside of you and at different times you may receive conflicting or contradictory messages. If you are want to be happy, successful, and fulfilled, consider putting your “dreamer” in the director’s chair. What are the voices inside of you saying? As you turn the volume up on the voice of your dreamer and down on the voice of your doubter, you can practice discernment allowing for greater clarity. To assist you in hearing these voices, let’s set up a simple scenario. Picture something you want, something that matters to you. Choose a personal or professional dream and consider how …

A New Conversation About Dreams – Integrity: The Key to Getting What You Want

The most critical attribute for realizing our dreams is integrity. In a conversation about dreams, integrity is essential and can be summarized this way: Say what you mean and mean what you say. Honor your word and agreements and you will be living with integrity, where dreams really do come true. Simple, yes, but not always easy. Vastly overscheduled, often the person it’s most difficult to keep our commitments with, is yourself. As you practice upholding your values, you are given opportunities to show up or to sell out. When you are challenged, do you lose sight of what matters to you? Do you have an internal pulse, a set of conscious principles that you live your life by? If …

A New Balance

As the balance of power in our society, on our planet, and within ourselves shifts from the male energy domination to a balance with the feminine, there is also a fundamental shift taking place within our bodies. This shift is one from a mind-centered existence to one that is more heart-centered. Until recently, we have been living in a Third Dimension reality, defined by what we know as width, length, and height. What we could see is what we would believe. In this dimension we are bound by time and our ego feels separated from the whole. We were, in fact, believing an illusion as limited by the logical perceptions of our mind. This is often referred to as our …

A Monster Of A Leadership Challenge:

Summary: All leaders experience fear, failure and self-doubt many times throughout their careers. The author combines the three into one creature he calls Ghidora. Ghidora is the name of the three-headed movie monster that engaged Godzilla in a titanic struggle. You’re not a Godzilla, of course, but you can go a long way in defeating this beast through tips provided here. In the 1964 movie, “Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster”, King Ghidorah was a gigantic, dragon-like creature that came from outer space. It had three heads on long necks, bat-like wings, no arms, and twin tails. It terrorized Tokyo until Godzilla, in a role reversal as protector rather than destroyer, defeated it in a terrible battle and chased it back into …

A Recovering Rager’s Creed

A rager, or rageaholic, is a person who is addicted to the expression of anger. While many people feel better when they “let it all out” a rageaholic should totally and completely abstain from expressing their anger. If anger or rage is a problem for you or someone you love, the following creed will help get things moving in a more positive direction. Read this list each morning before beginning your day: 1. I will practice self-restraint as a *top* priority today. (Notice that it does not say, “I will practice standing up for what is right.”) 2. I will act *the opposite* of how I feel, when angry. (Notice that it does not say, “I will share how I …

A Recipe for Success

To make a recipe for success you need to find out what successful people are doing to get successful. You need role models and the more you know about them, the better you can copy their behaviour and obtain the same. So what do successful people have in common? Below are some characteristics based on observation of people that have been successful in one or more areas of life. Successful people are competitive – When successful people get in the game – whatever it is, they want to win. No successful person or role model ever play to lose, they go all out and give what they are able to give, within the rules and don’t give up until the …

A Quick Observation of the Low Class

We can all learn a valuable lesson about the types of behavior and attitudes to avoid like the plague, simply by observing the characteristics of people we all know are low class. Being low class is not a function of the lack of money or social status. I’ve seen rich people and those high on the social ladder who were very low class. I’ve also observed folks who were living below the poverty level and low on the social scale who were very high class people. It also has nothing to do with race or ethnic background. Instead, being low class is strictly a matter of behavior and attitudes. Most of us exhibit some low class characteristics once in a …

A Quick Introduction Into Releasing Emotions Through Visualization

When Oprah Winfrey was interviewed by the legendary US television reporter Barbara Walters she was asked “what’s the reason you put yourself on the line week after week, year after year, on the cutting edge of human emotion?” Oprah replied “Teaching people to take responsibly. I believe the secret to life is to take responsibility, once people grasp that I believe everything in their life changes. Once people understand it and live it, they are at cause for their life rather than living in effect and in reaction.” Public issues aside most people agree Bill Clinton was a very charismatic leader. Yet by his own admission in his autobiography he talks about painful acts in his childhood, anger and emotion …

A Quick Checklist for Improving Your Life

1. Learn About You If you don’t know who you are and why you think and act the way you do, it’s gonna be really difficult to make any positive changes in your life. Take a look first at your parents and close family members. Think about how they look and how they deal with life. This is the basis for who you are today. You’ve been instilled with the tendency to think as they think and act as they act. It’s just the way it is. Now think about the big events in your life so far. The ones that stand out in your mind. The ones that made an impression – negative or positive – on you. These …

A Quarter Empty Or Three Quarter’s Full – What’s Your Mind Set

There are so many people in the world that go out of their way to find the negative, the errors, the wrongs, etc. in all areas of life they come into contact with. This article will discuss who 1/4 empty people are and the problems with having a 1/4 empty mentality. I and others like me will see a glass that has 6 oz. of coffee in it and say that it is 3/4 full, but many others will say that it is 1/4 empty. There are several reasons why ¼ empty people see things in such a negative light. The first reason that the 1/4 empty people are so negative, is due to the toll that bad life experiences, …