A Turning Point

19 years ago, I was a young working mother at 28, independent and working for a prestigious company, until circumstances made me choose between family and career. After going through weighing my options, I chose to become a full-time Homemaker because I believed that family should come first if the situation would permit. However, I had a wake-up call four years ago. It happened on a lazy weekday afternoon when my 10 yr. old daughter arrived from school. As an affectionate habit, I’d kiss and hug her, join her in her room, and help her settle down. It’s great hearing how her day has been. But instead of receiving reciprocal warmth, I got a glowering look plus a creased forehead …

A Teller Of Tales

Direct Answers – Column for the week of June 10, 2002 I told my daughter I didn’t think my daughter-in-law paid enough attention to her oldest son, 8. He has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, is on Ritalin, and lately has been kicking and hitting little kids. My daughter and I had a falling out, and she told my daughter-in-law what I said. My daughter-in-law was furious. I tried to explain that I did not call her a bad mother. Well, you can imagine what happened. We haven’t spoken in a week. Do I let time take care of this, or do I send her the letter I wrote trying to explain myself? I am very family oriented and, most of …

A System For Goal Setting

Most people will agree that goal setting is an important strategy in obtaining what we desire. If you don’t set goals you will not know what to look for to determine whether an achievement was truly a success or not. The sad thing is that only a very small part of those who understand the need for setting goals actually take the time to figure out what they really want to accomplish and outline a plan for reaching them. It goes without saying that with this approach or shall we say lack of approach, determining which accomplishments are successful or not will be a little arbitrary; ‘more self reliant’, ‘a raise in salary’, ‘clear skin’, ‘a new home’ or ‘a …

A Sweep of Vanity: How To Burst Your Own Bubble

“Hoy-day! What a sweep of vanity comes this way!” –William Shakespeare, “The Life of Timon of Athens” If there’s one characteristic we hope we don’t have, it’s vanity. We’d rather be considered aggressive, driven, petty, even mean than have others feel that we think too much of ourselves. Isn’t that hilarious? We’re all vain. The world appears to revolve around us because we literally can’t see it any other way. Our reality is constructed entirely of our perceptions of how everyone and everything responds to us. It’s impossible to remove ourselves from the center of our own universe. That’s our starting point, anyway. We want to veer toward selflessness, but no matter how hard we try, we remain rooted to …

A Sudden Career Change Overview

It may seem like the “end of the world” to you, especially after you’ve given EVERYTHING to your employer. Today, you’ve been terminated and it feels like a Mack truck has just run over your body without a thought or care. Did they have a security guard “watch” you clean out your desk and shut-down your computer? After a few years or more, it’s one of those demeaning experiences with BIG employers….. some even provide escort service to your car. Regardless of the years, it’s not a good, warm fuzzy feeling for any of us. With that behind us…. let’s begin to think about “reality” and how it may just be your BEST day. I know, you’re seeing a DARK …

A Simple Effective Tool To Get And Stay Organized

Often we are in overwhelm because we are holding too many things in our brain. We are trying to make everything a priority and get it done now. When really we can eliminate 60 % of those things get more accomplished and be more successful. If you answer “yes” to three or more of the questions below it’s a good bet you need to get your life organized and put an end to being stressed out a good deal of the time. Do you find yourself feeling frustrated that you never have enough time to do the things you really enjoy? 1. Do you go through most of the week feeling hurried, hassled, out of control? 2. Are there any …

A New Years Resolution To Stop Smoking – How To Keep To It Beyond Jan 2nd?

So, here you are again. Seeing out the old year, along with its broken promises and failed, good intentions. You arrive, fresh with newly found conviction, after the excesses of the Christmas period, at the New Year’s resolution, an annual triumph of hope over reality! Hope, that this time you will have the single mindedness to succeed, where last time you failed. I’m not suggesting for a moment that you do not want to succeed, I’m sure that your desire to stop smoking is genuine, but here’s the reality, it’s a hope, a dream and what’s the point in having dreams if you’re not going to make them happen? You may dream of winning the lottery and yes, you could …

A Monster Of A Leadership Challenge:

Summary: All leaders experience fear, failure and self-doubt many times throughout their careers. The author combines the three into one creature he calls Ghidora. Ghidora is the name of the three-headed movie monster that engaged Godzilla in a titanic struggle. You’re not a Godzilla, of course, but you can go a long way in defeating this beast through tips provided here. In the 1964 movie, “Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster”, King Ghidorah was a gigantic, dragon-like creature that came from outer space. It had three heads on long necks, bat-like wings, no arms, and twin tails. It terrorized Tokyo until Godzilla, in a role reversal as protector rather than destroyer, defeated it in a terrible battle and chased it back into …

A Leadership Lesson: Two Guys With Guns

Raymond Chandler author of the famous Philip Marlowe detective stories advised writers suffering from writers’ block: “Whenever you get stuck, have two guys walk through the door with guns.” Leadership has its own “leader’s block.” All leaders now and then get a good dose of it. You’re sailing along in your job getting the results you want when, for whatever reason or for no reason you can discern, you come to a screeching halt and can’t go any farther. You get stuck on getting the same results. You get stuck on motivating people. You’re stuck on motivating yourself. Being stuck, take advice from Raymond Chandler: Have two guys walk through the door with guns! Chandler was talking about shaking things …

A Kernel of Truth about Relationships:

5 steps to improvement “It’s all about relationships!” proclaimed my father during our recent holiday visit with my parents. Santa Claus coffee cup in one hand and a wagging finger toward my wife, Elizabeth, with the other. “When you retire, that’s what you realize is most important in life” (okay, so that’s not him in the photo). Dad recently retired from 30+ years as an orthopedic surgeon and the major shift in lifestyle seems to have brought about a significant shift in his outlook on life. For me, his statement about relationships became much broader and more profound than I thought such a simple and reasonable statement could ever become. At first look, it makes sense that relationships are vital …

A Kernel of Truth about Relationships: 4 Steps to Improvement

It’s all about relationships! proclaimed my father during our recent holiday visit with my parents. Santa Claus coffee cup in one hand and a wagging finger toward my wife, Elizabeth, with the other. When you retire, thats what you realize is most important in life (okay, so thats not him in the photo). Dad recently retired from 30+ years as an orthopedic surgeon and the major shift in lifestyle seems to have brought about a significant shift in his outlook on life. For me, his statement about relationships became much broader and more profound than I thought such a simple and reasonable statement could ever become. At first look, it makes sense that relationships are vital to our lives. Whether …

A Goals Program!

What exactly do we mean by a goals program? Well for one thing we don’t mean, is to just set some goals that never get accomplished anyway. Could you pray tell what in the hell is the use setting the stupid things if you don’t intended to do anything with them? It’s not that people don’t intend to do anything, it’s just with life’s little ups and downs they seemed to get pushed to the back burner or worse, you lose all your desire to get to the level that you have always had your heart to turn this ship around so that we can make it to the next level, that we had envisioned as a young adult. How …

A Glimpse Of Your True Nature…

I believe that every moment of existence holds within it, somewhere, a key to your true nature. So as you read this article, do so as if this could be your key, and let’s see which doors it opens within you. There is a simple fact of nature that I would like you to consider – YOU ARE ALREADY PERFECT! All of nature, or existence, or reality, or whatever you prefer to call it, is already perfect. There is nothing outside of you that you need to find to complete you. You are already complete. There is nothing you need to achieve. There is nothing you need to get, do or become. Everything you need to “be you” is already …

A Few Simple Things You Must Do If You Want To Be Wealthy

Making money is easy when you move to cause rather than living out effects. Let me draw a simple analogy to clarify my point. Imagine standing before a huge waterfall. You’re thirsty and the water is fresh, clean, and pure. You can take as much as you like. How much can you take home with you? It all depends on the size of your container. You can take a thimble, a small cup, a gallon bucket, a barrel, or even a tank truck. Similarly, the amount of money in the world is like this fountain of abundance. Trillions of dollars circulate around the world. The fountain is abundant. Some people can hold billions, others millions, others hundreds of thousands, others …

A Faux Pas Is A Mistake In A Tuxedo

Everyone who is anybody has a hobby or at least entertains the idea. Hobbies range from sports to crafts to reading and even traveling. Some hobbies don’t make sense to me like collecting dead insects. My long established hobby has earned me a membership in the POP (People Observing People) Culture. The rules specify that each member must swear not to divulge anything observed. Being a minister, I’m not allowed to swear, so I am exempted from this rule. I love to get a nice hot cup of coffee, a local newspaper and situate myself where I can see the most people in their natural environment. Nothing is more hilarious than observing people who don’t realize they are being watched. …

A Modern Day Wisdom Seeker Interviews Walt Whitman

Walt Whitman lived a life of wisdom and simplicity. Here is how a modern day wisdom seeker might interview the great 19th century poet, and his inspiring replies. Q: I have always had a timid and apologetic attitude towards other people, which I dislike. I am encouraged by everything you say, but I am still what I am. Walt Whitman: I do not trouble my spirit to vindicate itself or be understood; I see that the elementary laws never apologize. Q: What kind of truth will supply inner liberty? You have not known what you are, you have slumbered upon yourself all your life . . .Whoever you are! Claim your own. Q: I want to walk towards inner newness, …