Anger: To Control or To Learn

Many of us will do anything to avoid another’s anger, yet may be quick to anger ourselves. Many of us dread another’s anger yet continue to use our own anger as a way to control others. Let’s take a deeper look at what generates our anger and how we can learn from it rather than be at the mercy of it. The feeling anger can come from two different places within us. Anger that comes from an adult, rational place can be called outrage. Outrage is the feeling we have when confronted with injustice. Outrage mobilizes us to take appropriate action when harm is being done to ourselves, others, and the planet. Outrage is a positive emotion in that it …

How Self-Made Millionaires Overcome Procrastination

Do you want to know how the super successful overcome procrastination? One fascinating hallmark of all highly motivated millionaires is their strongly held conviction that they will succeed. Whatever it takes and despite any challenges that crop up. How do they overcome procrastination? People who are inspired by their dreams believe with certainty they will achieve their goals even if they do not know how all the details will work out. This sense of certainty is due in part to their empowering belief system and also to the way they represent their goals to themselves inside their minds. Have you ever got excited about your goals and then slowly over time lost your enthusiasm? Most people do. The difference is …

How To Become Bullet Proof From Criticism

If someone has ever wounded you with careless, unkind or sarcastic remarks or criticism then read on! By the end of this article you will be armed with useful and practical ideas to save yourself from internal and external damage. Let me first say that ‘criticism can be useful. In fact, we need to be able to hear and process this kind of feedback in order to progress in life. Otherwise we would be ‘legends in our own lunchtimes’ and it would be hard to improve our performance or behaviours. But – words can hurt! And they can go deep – last for years – decades & lifetimes and severely constraint people’s lives. They can also be meant in other …

How To Beat Procrastination At Work

Listen. If you don´t beat procrastination at work the long term consequences could be serious. Take this example of how expensive work procrastination can be… The assignment that your boss gave you several days ago still isn’t done. The assignment is a report that your boss needs to take to an important meeting, and you may get a big promotion if the meeting goes OK. You’ve had plenty of time to get it done, but still just don’t do it even though your future career could be in jeopardy. What’s wrong with you? You are one of the millions who procrastinate. You feel inadequate, guilty, depressed and have low self-esteem. Procrastination means avoiding doing tasks, which need to be done …

How Empathy Can Reduce Your Anger

Jim, a 42-year old engineer was teaching his eight-year-old son how to fly a radio-controlled airplane. As the airplane was taking off, Jim instructed his son to push the control stick on the radio to the right. He did and the airplane turned to the right. This was repeated several more times until the airplane turned full circle toward the son, ready to land. “Push the stick to the right,” said Jim. This time, however, the plane turned left. “Push the stick left,” Jim said. Now the plane turned right, as if it suddenly had a mind of its own. “I’m confused,” said the son. “How do I know which way to push the stick when the plane behaves differently …

How Do You Win at Home Organization? Think Small!

Many people have written to me about their personal goals and one I see quite often is “Get organized,” specifically, “Get the house in order.” When I ask what obstacles are in their way, the most common response is “procrastination.” By the time it gets to the point of showing up on a goals list, household organization has been neglected so much that the results have culminated into a mountain so big even the bravest of us want to run in the opposite direction! Procrastination is often the by-product of fear. We may perceive something to be so big or unattainable that we become overwhelmed and immobile. Getting organized doesn’t mean you have to take on that mountain in one …

How Do You Build Self-Confidence?

Years ago while running an at-home daycare, I came to realize that we’re all born with an innate sense of self-confidence. Every single child under the age of five that I have ever observed has had a strong self-confidence in at least one area of their life. Most kids had confidence in all areas of their lives. It seems to me that they systematically lose that confidence and it’s replaced by an inner critic. Quite often it’s the child’s home life, but sometimes it’s the schools, neighborhood kids, extended family, or some other person who unknowingly destroys the child’s belief in themselves. Children have to be told they aren’t good enough, strong enough, smart enough, talented enough to accomplish whatever …

Alcohol And Substance Abuse Will Not Take Away Your Fears

It is not easy to deal with our fears and anxieties however trying to avoid them through Alcohol or other substances will not work. Avoiding your fears and anxieties will not make them go away. Your fears and anxieties will always be there. The best way to deal with your fears is to find effective ways to overcome them. As a result, here are some techniques a person can use to help manage their fears and anxieties. The first step is to learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different …

Addiction to Worry

Carole started counseling with me because she was depressed. She had been ill with chronic fatigue syndrome for a long time and believed her depression was due to this. In the course of our work together, she became aware that her depression was actually coming from her negative thinking – Carole was a constant worrier. Many words out of her mouth centered around her concerns that something bad might happen. “What if I never get well?” “What if my husband gets sick?” “What if I run out of money?” (Carole and her husband ran a very successful business and there was no indication that it would not go on being successful). “What if my son gets into drugs?” “What if …

A Suicide Attempt A Minute

525,600 minutes and 531,000 suicide attempts per year in the US . 21% of 12 year olds are sexually experienced. Among high school students 27% smoke cigarettes, 36% were passengers with an intoxicated driver, 1/3 were drunk in the last month, 26% smoked marijuana, 16% had used inhalants to get high. Road rage and air rage are front page news. While media and peer influences, the high divorce rate, latch-key children, and drug availability are part of the problem, biology plays a far greater role than has been previously recognized. Public misconception, misinformation and prejudice are making the problem worse. Surgeon General Dr. Satcher is correct in stating that the stigma must be removed for mental disorders, as has been …

A guide to dream interpretation

Most of us dream. But only a very small percentage of us understands that dreams hold much importance and opportunity for our self growth, improvement and self discovery. But many mystics of both Eastern and Western origins are aware of the fact that dreams hold a wealth of untapped knowledge. Because of its inherently vague nature, dreams and the art of interpreting them never entered mainstream sciences. Jungian psychology is the closest mainstream science that took dreams seriously. This article is a concise description of the method of dream interpretation that I use. There are several points/guidelines to take note. 1. The dreams are often symbolic representations of what we are experiencing or are about to experience in the near …

A Global Empathy Deficit- 2 Lessons

“…We’ve got a budget deficit that’s important, we’ve got a trade deficit that’s critical, but what I worry most is our empathy deficit.” – Interview in O Magazine with Barack Obama. Perhaps this is not only a US national concern but a global crisis: people are dividing into camps and fighting one another with no mention of sitting down to dialogue. We, as global human beings living on a shrinking planet, have to stop the insanity, start talking, and stop the fighting. The fighting is not only among warring nations. It goes on in corporations, small businesses, between entrepreneurs, in schools, in neighborhoods, and in families. There is a lack of talking, listening, and empathizing between people. This is especially …

A Magnificent Obsession Is The Best Medicine!

The idea I’m about to share with you can bring you the greatest hope. It can bring you happiness beyond anything you’ve ever dreamed. It can present to you the quality and quantity of life that may seem like only something that always goes to others. Brace yourself; a band of gypsies would pay to hear this. The Magnificent Obsession! No matter who you are, no matter what you have been, no matter what you have done in your past, you can develop a magnificent obsession for something that can change your world and the world you live in. The principle of this obsession is so simple that the people who could benefit the most may not see it at …

A Better Approach to New Years Resolutions. . .or Any Resolution

WHY DON’T RESOLUTIONS WORK? Let’s face it: the truth about traditional New Years resolutions (and resolutions in general) is that they don’t really work. Here is why: Most resolutions are little more than fancy-sounding “shoulds,” or, at most, good intentions. Good intentions by themselves rarely result in lasting change! They merely signify that we wish we had more motivation, readiness or willingness than we yet have. This is why making a resolution based on good intentions alone is a sure path to feeling inadequate, guilty, shameful, hopeless, or stupid later… once you realize you didn’t succeed in making your resolution come true. Fortunately, there IS a way to greatly improve your chances of having your resolutions come true. There are …

10 Tips to Improve Your Self Esteem

Striving to improve our self esteem is on everybody’s mind. It doesn’t matter if you actively pursue this goal or you subconsciously working on improving your self esteem. The problem with this is that you really don’t know exactly what you want to improve. You’re acting intuitively on external signals. Do you know how to improve your self esteem? Probably not. To make it a little bit easier for you and to achieve your goals quicker I put together 10 tips that you can utilize right away. 1. Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others? Try to make only one change at a …

10 Tips to Cope with Negative Emotions at Work

It’s a fact of life – if you want to succeed in business, you need to know how to interact and communicate effectively with your employees, business partners, vendors, prospects, and customers. As a small business owner, this might involve rapid shifting from one type of language to another. For example, how you’d explain your expectations to your employees might be different than how you’d convey these to your business partner or potential client. As we all know, sometimes language breaks down, and communication grinds to a halt. This can leave the owner feeling irritable, angry, frustrated… and with a desire to vent to his/her employees or staff. While there may be instances that such sharing would be appropriate or …